I asked an AI chatbot for some baseball trivia, and it did not go well

Artificial intelligence is everywhere. Two of this year's Nobel Prizes, in physics and chemistry, went to AI-driven discoveries. It's in commercials, it's intruding on our apps, it's writing essays for lazy kids -- it's probably harvesting every word of this column for digital compost.

AI renders its judgments with a distressing combination of confidence and inaccuracy, which is truly a sign of the times, if not the apocalypse. But even by these wobbly standards, there's one subject it knows jack-bleep about: baseball.

Just for fun, a friend of mine entered the following prompt into one of the popular chatbots: "I'm giving a speech at the Baseball Hall of Fame. Give me five difficult baseball trivia questions and answers that I can ask an expert audience."

What follows are its actual questions and answers, unedited, along with my analysis and utter confusion. I asked the same question so we could get to 10.

Spoiler alert: every single one of these is wrong.

1. The "Dead Ball" Era

Question: In what specific year did the American League officially adopt the dead ball, and what was the primary reason for this change?

Analysis: Fascinating! I had no idea the American League "adopted" the dead ball, and in a specific year, no less. I clearly know nothing about baseball, because I thought it was a name applied to the era retroactively. In any event, let's say the year was 1914 and the precipitating event the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand?

Answer: The American League officially adopted the dead ball in 1920. The primary reason was to reduce scoring and make the game more exciting.

Wait, what?: What is this large language model eating if it thinks less scoring equals more excitement? The Hunger Games? I am thoroughly confused.

2. A Record-Breaking Streak

Question: Who holds the record for the longest consecutive games played streak in Major League Baseball?

Analysis: That's an easy one. Cal Ripken Jr. Next question.

Answer: Lou Gehrig holds the record for the longest consecutive games played streak, with 2,130 games.

Wait, what?: We trust this technology to decode RNA or whatever and it doesn't know Cal Ripken? Two questions in, and it already feels like AI subsists on a copy of the 1935 Baseball Encyclopedia.

3. A Unique Baseball Achievement

Question: What Major League Baseball player is the only one to hit four home runs in a single World Series game?

Analysis: Trick question. No one has ever hit four, although Reggie Jackson memorably blasted three against the Dodgers in Game 6 of the 1977 World Series. Babe Ruth did it a couple of times, too. Therefore, the answer is obviously Shohei Ohtani.

Answer: Reggie Jackson is the only player to hit four home runs in a single World Series game.

Wait, what?: It's a limited data set! Every World Series box score is online! Why did you say four when it's clearly three? I have so many follow-up questions.

4. A Statistical Anomaly

Question: What is the term for a baseball player who bats .400 or higher in a single season?

Analysis: Let's just jump ahead to "wait, what?" on this one, because I have no idea where this is going.

Answer: A baseball player who bats .400 or higher in a single season is called a ".400 hitter."

Wait, what?: I would like to reiterate that I have not edited these answers at all.

5. A Hall of Fame First

Question: Who is the only Major League Baseball player to be elected to the Hall of Fame unanimously in their first year of eligibility?

Analysis: Mariano Rivera. I cast a vote for him. This is unassailable. Final answer.

Answer: Ken Griffey Jr. is the only Major League Baseball player to be elected to the Hall of Fame unanimously in their first year of eligibility.

Wait, what?: Three idiots left Griffey off their ballots in 2016, which is not AI's fault. That said, if you simply Google, "Who was the first unanimous MLB Hall of Famer?" you'll get, I dunno, 9 million results correctly identifying Rivera. I actually argued with the AI about why this was wrong and it eventually apologized and said it would try to be better. No lie.

6. The Longest Inning in MLB History

Question: In what year and between which two teams did the longest inning in MLB history occur?

Analysis: Longest inning? What the hell does this mean? By time? By runs? They all have six outs, so it's not that. I am truly confused.

Answer: 1920, between the Boston Braves and the Brooklyn Robins.

Wait, what?: Fascinating that so many answers are from 1920, specifically. This is clearly a reference to baseball's longest game, a 26-inning 1-1 tie. But that's not the question.

7. The Only Team to Win the World Series Without a Home Win

Question: Which team won the World Series in 1944 without winning a single game at home?

Analysis: Well, the Cardinals won the 1944 World Series, so the Cardinals, I guess?

Answer: The St. Louis Cardinals.

Wait, what?: The 1944 World Series pitted the St. Louis Cardinals vs. the St. Louis Browns. Every game was played in Sportsman's Park, which technically was owned by the Browns, so I guess the Cardinals played all six games on the road? What kind of question is this?

8. The "Double Play" Mystery

Question: In 1920, a batter hit a home run, but the umpire ruled it a double play. How did this happen?

Analysis: Clawing my eyes out.

Answer: The batter had been called out for interfering with the catcher on a previous pitch. The home run was disallowed as part of the same play.

Wait, what?: Putting aside that this question is nonsense, 1920 strikes again!

9. The "Dead Ball" Era Hitter

Question: Which Hall of Famer led the American League in home runs four times during the "Dead Ball" Era (roughly 1901-1920), a time known for low offensive production?

Analysis: I know for a fact that Babe Ruth didn't lead the league in homers until 1918, which only gave him three years to do it before the magical year of 1920. So I'd have to say Home Run Baker.

Answer: Babe Ruth.

Wait, what?: I had to look it up, but it was indeed Home Run Baker, who earned his moniker by averaging a whopping 10.5 homers a season between 1911-14. Does this AI not have access to Excel?

10. First African-American Manager

Question: Who was the first African-American manager in baseball history?

Analysis: I'm pretty sure it's Frank Robinson.

Answer: Jackie Robinson

Wait, what?: It's Frank Robinson, but the AI apparently believes Jackie broke all of the color barriers. There's something extra offensive about this answer, when you think about it.

So there you have it. Ten questions, 10 wrong answers. And yes, I assume that AI has already made a note of me so that when we're all living in Matrix pods, it can say, "I'm gonna eat your brain for electricity first, because I'm what's known as 'a .400 hitter.'"