Five things we want to see in Patriots-Panthers preseason opener

Ya know, I could do “FIVE THINGS TO WATCH FOR IN PATS-PANTHERS PRESEASON OPENER!!!”

But in this glorified practice between the two teams with the WORST offenses in football last year, the bar is by necessity pretty low. Things like, “Watch how they get in and out of the huddle…” … “Look out for presnap penalties …” were going through my mind.

It’s the football equivalent of hoping baby makes boom-boom in the potty. Although that’s where I was at last year as well.

From my "SIX THINGS TO MONITOR” piece before last year's preseason opener, No. 1 was:

Let's have it look tidy, shall we?

You know how many penalties the Patriots had in the preseason opener last year? Twelve. Twelve for 89 yards. Too many men on the field (defense). False start. Illegal formation on a kickoff. Hold. Offensive pass interference. False start. Defensive pass interference. Illegal contact. Illegal use of hands. False start. Facemask. Facemask. Illegal shift. Roughing the passer.

Know how many penalties they had in the second preseason game? Twelve. Twelve for 104. With another too many men on the field, a defensive offside and four more false starts.

Way too much chaos. And it served as the precursor to what wound up being the most disorganized, dysfunctional, disconcerting season of Bill Belichick’s 23 years in charge.

Even though most of the starters won’t play, it still matters to me to observe how “on the details” the end of the roster guys -- and the coaching staff -- are. Quality control was a mess in 2022. Let’s see if it was a blip or a trend.

They tidied it up. Five penalties against the Texans. They also suuuuucccccckkkkeedddd on offense until the final drive of the game with Malik Cunningham breathing life into the night.

Anyway, instead of directing you what to watch for, I’m going to instead go with FIVE THINGS I WANNA SEE.

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Air it out, brotha...

The Patriots have spent months getting Drake Maye up to NFL speed. It’s coming along at about the rate expected. Fits and starts. Definite improvement. Still not there. The gap between he and Jacoby Brissett is probably wider now than when camp started because Jacoby’s gotten comfortable with his group and knows where all the trip wires are.

All that said, I want to see Maye throw the ball as far as he possibly can on his second snap. Provided the offense is more than 60 yards from the end zone.

Throw the fans a frickin’ bone. Throw Maye a bone. Throw the wideouts a bone. Doesn’t matter if it’s a long foul, picked off, hits one of the end zone militia square in the chest … just show that there’s something different in the arsenal now.

We have the rest of the night to watch wide zone runs and Bryce Baringer punts. At some point in the next three seasons (hopefully more), the Patriots have to morph their offense to play to Maye’s strength. And that’s not hitting irons off the tee to the middle of the fairway.

And when Maye’s done throwing it 66 yards, let Joe Milton throw it 74. One time. One time.

A less-than-breathless response to whatever happens

I know. I’ve been told a million times. It’s what we do. We overreact. It’s the job. I need to get used to it. Or at least not have my eyes roll audibly in my head.

But, this being a practice game with a first-year head coach, first-year coordinators on both sides of the ball, a revamped coaching staff, a new offense, you know all the rest, it’s going to look like ass at times. More probable than not.

It’s just worth remembering that in the first preseason game last year when the Patriots played Houston, C.J. Stroud got sacked for a loss of 15 and was picked by Jalen Mills on the Texans' first drive.

The Texans made the playoffs. Stroud was Offensive Rookie of the Year.

Meanwhile, Malik Cunningham is now a Raven and they are trying to convert him to a wideout.

13 points or fewer for the Panthers

It’s well-established the Patriots defense is really good. It was the only piece of driftwood to hang on to by the end of their shipwrecked 2024 season. They’ve been stifling in camp so far, which we’ve chalked up somewhat to the inexperience of the offense.

It would be good to see the same kind of suffocation applied to the Panthers, regardless of how far down the depth chart Carolina goes.

4.0 yards per carry

It’s going to be a run-heavy year. And, with tweaks to the running game in which the Patriots will be trying more wide zone, there’s going to be an adjustment.

The Patriots tried to run wide zone in 2022 but had to scrap it fairly early in the season as their bread-and-butter because they just weren’t good at it. They were better suited personnel-wise to being a downhill, gap-zone team which didn’t ask the offensive line to get out in space.

There won’t be a switch this year. They will run wide zone with offensive coordinator Alex Van Pelt. There have been run-stuffs aplenty in camp so far. One hopes it’s because the Patriots front-seven defenders are just really good and they’ll find space tonight against Carolina.

Joe Milton to Jaheim Bell

Milton’s arm is electric. Is he having a better camp than Drake Maye? Could he seize the starting job? To borrow from my buddy Chris Mason from MassLive, that’s “aggressively stupid.”

Milton’s been more than fine. He makes some breathtaking throws. Watching him throw in 1-on-1s is like watching (fill in your favorite power hitter) take batting practice. But he rarely gets reps in 11-on-11s because the competition is between Brissett and Maye for the starting job. And that competition is practically over.

The ideal future for the Patriots quarterback room is Maye as starter and Milton as backup. Both with command, accuracy, an understanding of what Van Pelt wants and the green light to air it out as the team goes from unwatchable offensively to (hopefully) pretty damn entertaining.

All that said, I want those of you who haven’t been to camp to see what we’ve seen with Milton’s arm, and I’d love to see him hook up a time or two with seventh-round rookie Jaheim Bell. Bell just started practicing this week and the tight end showed fantastic hands on a bullet red zone throw from Maye.

The fourth quarter of the first preseason game is made for falling in love. Gimme three Milton-Bell hookups.