Smile, Patriots. Today is the first day of the rest of your season.
Itās a mulligan. A do-over. Attack the day with the zest, intensity and grateful vigor of a man given a new lease on life.
Go. And sin no more.
Stay in the game with the latest updates on your beloved Boston sports teams! Sign up here for our All Access Daily newsletter.
Just ā¦ one thing before you do. Those four losses do actually count. And the fresh mental scars from the 38-3 and 34-0 beatdowns the past two weeks? Ya gotta bring those too.
And you gotta bring them onto the field in Las Vegas Sunday afternoon. Same place your quarterback had the worst game of his career (until the last two) and the team submitted the top Football Folly of this century in a 30-24 loss to the Raiders.
So āstarting overā maybe isnāt the right term for what you guys get to do this week despite what Bill Belichick said after the Saints game.
MORE PATRIOTS COVERAGE
Itās not a mulligan, per se. Youāre still on the tee. But youāre hitting five. Cheers! Try not to fall behind by 20 before people have found their seats.
Reader ā¦ I hear you asking yourself: āIsnāt this the clown who said he was bullish on the Patriots? Who said theyād win 10 games? Who said theyād beat Dallas 31-23? Who loved him some Mac Jones and Bill OāBrien? Whereās he get off piling on? He thought they were gonna be good!ā
Fair point! Iāll accept it may seem hypocritical on the surface, but Iāll also say that Iām a man betrayed.
My rosy outlook was based entirely on the presumption that the demon seed of the 2022 season was exorcised in the offseason.
I figured that mistake-prone, situationally-stupid, turnover-happy, offensively-stagnant football was over. The Patriots would emerge unscathed from the dysfunction and decline and come back in 2023 fresh as a daisy.
I underrated the trauma. I overrated the ability of the offensive line to block for Mac Jones and Rhamondre Stevenson and I figured their crappy training camp performances would vanish when they got all their starting linemen back and healthy. I didnāt know the lack of consistent protection would turn Jones into a panicky, indecisive squirrel capable of just about anything.
I knew that DeVante Parker, JuJu Smith-Schuster, Kendrick Bourne and Tyquan Thornton were a very jaggy group but I thought if Jones got some time, the complement of skills could actually work. I liked the defense and loved Christian Gonzalez. I was giddy at the prospect of Bill OāBrien coming back and at least making sure plays got called with reasonable speed. Yay! Watchable offense!
I ignored the warning signs. In March, when Belichick sniffed at the question of why fans should be optimistic by saying, āThe past 25 yearsā¦ā then continued attacking the teamās roster rebuild with all the vigor of a 14-year-old Bassett Hound, I still believed heād figure it out.
Because he always had. I took two-plus decades of covering Patriots football with him in charge and thought that -- while they may not be talented or explosive -- he would still make sure his team was well-coached, well-prepared and able to do its job.
They aināt. So I guess thatās on me.
Now, for the first time, I think the Patriots are really broken. How do you āstart overā without your best two defensive players (Matt Judon and Christian Gonzalez)? With an offensive line that is still pockmarked by injury and running out rookies who really arenāt ready to block for a quarterback with a fried brain, a below-average arm and modest (at best) elusiveness?
As Pro Football Talkās Mike Florio said on my podcast earlier this week, āYou can talk about playing chess vs. playing checkers all you want. But if all you have are pawns and no kings and queens, youāre not going to win.ā
š Patriots Talk: Do the Patriots have enough to actually fix Mac Jones? | Listen & Subscribe | Watch on YouTube
The Patriots are so bad off that, three years into Jonesā career, the first-round pick is near abandonment and the team doesnāt have a single quarterback it trusts on the roster to replace him.
The second-best arm on the team last year may have belonged to Jakobi Meyers. Belichick said this week that re-signing Meyers was a priority. Well it sure wasnāt a high priority, otherwise heād be with the Patriots. Instead, heās with Vegas playing on a contract that pays him at the same rate the Patriots paid Nelson Agholor the past two years.
I mean, what are we supposed to do ā¦ pay him like heās Nelson Agholor or something?
If the Patriots donāt somehow win in Vegas, theyāre 1-5 with the Bills and Dolphins up next licking their chops. Thatās a likely 1-7 heading into November.
Two weeks ago, the Patriots were headed to Dallas and we were aflutter (at least I was) at the prospect of one of those validating road upsets that signaled they were a frisky team.
They threw up down the front of their shirt. Then they did it again. And even if they hold it down this week, thereās more mess to come.